Questions
I ain't goin nowhere unless you come with me
I say I aint goin nowhere lessen you come with me
I ain't about to be some leaf that lose its tree
So take my hand see how I'm reachin out for you
We got a whole lot more than only one us can do
June Jordan
Why did this make me think of R?
He and I are really getting close, and that scares me...
There have been two or three times since we first separated that we have gotten close again and tried to get back together... But I always get to the point where I can't stand to be around him again, can't find any respect for him, and we separate again...
Is is just my loneliness that keeps us together? Is it the fact that we still have such great sex? Is it that I can't make it financially without him? Is it that he is always there to help with our son, or cook dinner, when I am so tired and stressed that I can't do anything but sleep? Why can't I just be happy with him... Why can't he just grow up a little and earn my respect back????
Maybe it's because we are just so close again, him living in my house...Maybe when he buys his house... Of course, it's next door to me.... *sigh*
Trust and respect are both more important to me than love... And R has lost both of them, from me... How can he earn that back? Can I ever learn to trust and respect him again? Why does life have to be so complicated????
I say I aint goin nowhere lessen you come with me
I ain't about to be some leaf that lose its tree
So take my hand see how I'm reachin out for you
We got a whole lot more than only one us can do
June Jordan
Why did this make me think of R?
He and I are really getting close, and that scares me...
There have been two or three times since we first separated that we have gotten close again and tried to get back together... But I always get to the point where I can't stand to be around him again, can't find any respect for him, and we separate again...
Is is just my loneliness that keeps us together? Is it the fact that we still have such great sex? Is it that I can't make it financially without him? Is it that he is always there to help with our son, or cook dinner, when I am so tired and stressed that I can't do anything but sleep? Why can't I just be happy with him... Why can't he just grow up a little and earn my respect back????
Maybe it's because we are just so close again, him living in my house...Maybe when he buys his house... Of course, it's next door to me.... *sigh*
Trust and respect are both more important to me than love... And R has lost both of them, from me... How can he earn that back? Can I ever learn to trust and respect him again? Why does life have to be so complicated????
5 Comments:
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Life isn't that complicated =) Although sometimes it seems it is. I am going through some complicated times myself, but I have learned that the only point in life is to be happy. That's the only thing that matters. And I'm sure that right now you're thinking that what's really difficult is being happy. But it is not. Just find what makes you happy (R) and hold on to it/him. Try no to think so much. Give as much as you take. You don't take nothing? Don't give nothing.
I am a blogger, just like you. www.batflutter.blogspot.com I will soon write a post in English (the rest of it is in Spanish)
So... let me know what you think of my blog and let me know how things go with R.
R makes me happy sometimes, but when he says he will do something, something important, and doesn't, or spends all the money we neede for groceries on Hot Wheels, or cigarettes, or McDonald's food... things like that make me so mad I could kill him... or when he calls in sick several times a week, every week until he finally gets fired... that pisses me off too...Or when he repeatedly falls asleep in every chair in my house with a lit cigarette in his hand, and burns holes in the carpet, or tile...
R is too irresponsible... I can't deal with irresponsible people...
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